First three things.

Three things! The first three things post of 2012! I'm carrying over a theme from last year, like continuing with a New Year's resolution. Consistency and routine is the name of the survival game; it's going to be what keeps my blog going.

Thing #1: Film

We saw two movies on Saturday, one right after the other. The first was The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Who could say no to over two and a half hours of Daniel Craig? He did not disappoint, but he was a little more covered up in most of it than I would have liked. Wish I could have said that about the girl with the dragon tattoo. There was something about her naked body that bothered me. It was so incredibly thin, and there was this muscle that stretched across the length of her ribcage that you could see contracting. It was disturbing. Actually, there were many things that were disturbing about the movie, but not necessarily all in a bad way. I thought the use of disturbing scenes was effective, and if you're looking for an action thriller then you could spend your time watching a worse movie.

We also saw The Artist. This movie was a sweet little film that was clever and visually impressive, but ultimately, for me, a little light; a little fluffy. Maybe it just seemed that way because I had just spent a couple of hours watching a somewhat violent drama, but nevertheless I liked this film. I don't like silent movies as a rule, but this one held my attention. The well-trained dog helped quite a bit.

Thing #2: Vampires and Werewolves

I can't even begin to count how many pages of vampire and werewolf melodrama that I have read over the past couple of weeks. It started the week after Christmas when I plowed through New Moon in two days (how glorious it is to spend two days reading!). Because the book went so quickly and because the story is so enticing despite the frustration I feel at the utter simplicity of the writing and character development, I immediately went to my local public library and checked out the final two books in the saga. I devoured the third one with almost as much speed, but because work and routine are getting in the way again, my progress on the fourth book is somewhat less speedy.

The series, as I said, is enticing and gripping in the way soap operas tend to be, but also as I said, I am just so frustrated at the flat emotional output that I have when I read the books. So what does this mean? It means that there is only so much sparkle and so many tortured vampire looks that I can take. I have reached saturation, but will finish the book and the series - can't give up with only one hundred and fifty pages to go!

Thing #3: Weight Watchers

And yes, my third thing to write about is Weight Watchers. I joined Weight Watchers at Work, which is Weight Watchers but with meetings held at the workplace. The informational meeting was this past Friday, and our first meeting is this coming Friday. I won't be around for the first meeting, where we have our initial weigh-in, set our goal weights, and determine what our daily point allowance will be (so I'll be a week behind everyone else), but at least I've paid my monthly dues. That's a start.

Why join Weight Watchers, you may ask? Well, I asked myself that same question as I looked around the room of easily forty women (and a couple of men!) and felt like the smallest person in the room. But this is not necessarily about weight for me, though I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to lose a few pounds. This is about re-establishing a healthy relationship with food for me. In my last post I mentioned that I had put on a few pounds since Wyatt died, and that's true. For the past year and a half I have been trying to eat my emotions (as if happiness or contentment really does live in a bag of potato chips). Emotional eating has never really been my thing and I don't like it, but I'm at the point that I don't really know how to stop it. I eat well for a few days and then have one chip or one French fry, or one cookie, and bam! The whole bag is gone. So I'm hoping Jennifer Hudson and Charles Barkley can support and encourage me in ways that I don't seem to be able to do for myself.

So yes. Three things. Movies, books, and food. That's my life, people, all right there in those three things.

Thoughts for a new year.

My first post of 2012 was going to be about a realization I came to a few days ago. A light-bulb moment. The realization hit me when I was on the elliptical machine one morning. I realized that I have three very strong personality traits, all of which start with B, and all of which are quite shameful. I admit it. More often than not, I am 1) bitchy, 2) bratty, and 3) bullying. Am I being a little hard on myself? Ask my mother that when I chastise her in front of my father's family at Christmas for overfilling the take-home containers with pie such that the covers would squish them and make them "unpresentable." Or ask Doug that question when I fly through the bedroom at 8am with way too much energy, like a tornado, grabbing my sneakers and exercise clothes to head for the gym, all the while chiding him for being lazy (because he's still in bed, god forbid). And these are just two very recent examples. So I would say no; I am not being hard on myself. Just honest.

But what would really be achieved by spending a whole post on these three Bs? Just a lot of belly-aching from me about how I'm not my ideal self. That in and of itself (belly-aching about not being my ideal self) is not a wholly unpleasant topic and is one I often dwell on, but today I'd rather spend my time and energy on another topic. Let's talk about things to look forward to in the upcoming year. Christmas and New Year's a behind us; 2012 is underway (I've successfully written 2012 on three checks so far!). Let's focus on the good stuff before we face the end of the world.

Sherman is doing much, much better with his scratching. The prednisone is helping, thanks to Doug's determination to get the little pills down his throat. It is true that Sherman still scratches and breaks the skin, leaving crusty scabs and patches on his ear and neck that are completely hairless, but overall he is doing so much better than he was even a month ago. He has gone days without his cone. And just today I saw him touch noses with Meg before she let out the death growl! This is a Christmas miracle! Maybe 2012 will be the year of cat harmony in our household.

Doug and I (and possibly my mother and brother) plan to go away sometime in May. A trip! Involving a plane! For more than two nights! I am very excited about this and so is Doug. Last night I started doing a little research into places to go. At first we had our sights set on Europe but based on ticket prices I think we're going to stay domestic. Over $1100 to fly to Berlin? Close to $1000 to fly to Paris? And $800 to fly to London! Iceland was our only relatively inexpensive European option, at a little over $600/pp/round trip, but Doug's not all that keen on it, mostly because of the cost. Neither am I, really, and mostly because of the cost. Maybe I'm getting cheap in my old age, or maybe just more practical, but when I think about spending most of my waking life at work and sloughing through the days there, I think much longer and harder about how I spend my money. Spending a few days in San Francisco and then a few days in one of the Redwood National Parks would be fun. We've never been to Northern California. Or exploring the national parks of southern Utah - we haven't been to the Southwest, either. Or maybe 2012 is the year that we visit Seattle and Portland! We always say we want to go there, and we could see Rod and Tina. The funny thing about "settling" for domestic travel is that we really haven't narrowed our choices by much. I want to go everywhere. I am still overwhelmed by the possibilities.

But how wonderful it is to have possibilities! Yesterday I got side-tracked by looking through all the photos that we had taken in the past few years while I was transferring the files from the desktop to DVR discs. I was simply shocked by all the things that we have filled our life with. We've documented so much of our life, which makes me realize that every day we are doing something no matter how mundane or tiresome the days can feel. There were photos of our move to the house, photos of the many meals that we have made in our kitchen, photos of day trips and vacations and times away from the house, and photos of family and friends and friends' babies and friends' pets. When you do a mini-retrospective like that you realize so many things are possible.

I learned, too, by looking through these photos, that it's possible that Wyatt's death had a profound impact on our lives and for much longer than we originally thought. In looking through the photos from 2010, I can see how we felt his loss each day. The pictures of us and our life were very different post-loss than they were when he was still with us. Doug lost a lot of weight after Wyatt died, and I started to gain a fair amount of weight after Wyatt died. We looked different in other ways, too. Doug looked paler. My hair looked stringier. We also entered our professional crisis period, with me leaving my corporate job and Doug leaving his job. There was definitely a dark cloud above our house for that latter half of 2010, and really for the vast majority of 2011. But the final couple of months or so of 2011 have felt better. The cloud is moving on. The fog is lifting. Maybe Sherman has helped us. Maybe therpay has helped us. Regardless, we are seeing the possibilities now and it feels like a much better way to be. We look forward to 2012 because we know now that we can face difficult times and come through to feel the sun on our faces and breathe the fresh air on the other side of the void, but also, and quite possibly more importantly, because we have this one cat, this one soft cat in the photo below, who, regardless of year or season or mental state of her owners, is just the most photogenic cat ever and she makes us happy.*

*Much of the time.

Wrapping up.

So, we leave 2011 behind in just a few hours. I don't tend to be nostalgic for the passing year, so I will not post about what I liked in 2011 and what I didn't like, or what resolutions I had and didn't keep or that I had and did keep, etc., etc. Let's just catch up on how 2011 ended, which was with a nice holiday bang.

The Christmas holiday for me and Doug now goes like this:

We wake up somewhat early on Christmas Eve morning and get ready for our Connecticut Christmas. Once everything is packed up and the cats are fed and watered, we spend some time around our tree and exchange the gifts we got each other. This is one of my favorite parts of the holiday, because it's the one I'm most awake for. I haven't yet stuffed myself silly with any of the holiday goodies that await down I-84. Plus, I like watching Doug open the gifts that I get him. I try to put thought into what he gets, for at least one of his gifts. He has stand-bys, like socks, t-shirts, underwear, and also sweaters, but I like to throw in at least one "surprise." This year it was Slowhand on vinyl.

With the new furniture arrangement (couch downstairs in basement along with TV, and record player set up in living room where TV was), we have been listening to our record player like we never have before. As a matter of fact, before we moved the couch and TV downstairs to the basement we were trying to sell the record player. We didn't think that we liked it (too much like a DJ turntable), not to mention the fact that we never listened to it. But now we listen to it quite regularly and are amassing quite the collection of classic rock albums, which sound fantastic on vinyl. Slowhand is the poster-child for this. We heard my father's copy of this album at my uncle's house in New Hampshire this past Labor Day weekend and it had such a great sound on vinyl. Doug is normally not an Eric Clapton fan, but the vinyl won him over. He talked often of the quality of that album since we heard it in New Hampshire, so I tracked down a copy. Slowly but surely we are creating for ourselves a nice library of Eric Clapton albums and are really enjoying what we are hearing.

Okay, so I surprise Doug with at least one gift that requires a little thought and creativity on my part, and Doug does the same for me. This year it was a necklace. Good job, Doug!

Once we open our gifts and give the cats one last pat good-bye, we pile in the car with all of our Christmas CDs and make the drive down to CT. This awaits us chez Sisko:

As does this:

And this:

We never forget to sing "Happy Birthday" to Doug. This year his birthday cake was a carrot cake. Whatever bakery the Siskos go to down there in Fairfield County certainly does cakes well. This cake was so moist and not sweet at all. Which reminds me - we still have some in our refrigerator. Yay! Cake tonight after Doug's homemade meatballs.

Anyway, once we celebrate well with the Siskos we head an hour north and visit with the Sheridans. This year my father, my aunt Mary, her husband Fred, and Doug jammed on their acoustics. I think that this was the first year that Doug played with them. I'm glad he did - they sounded good, and I think that the older folk are excited to play with Doug. He's in a band, after all. He's Doug Sisko, Guitar Guy. Rocker. Cool City Dude. All very impressive.

Once the family jam was over, which just may become a new Sheridan Christmas tradition, we headed over to my parents' house to spend the rest of the evening around their Christmas tree exchanging gifts with my mother, father and brother. My brother is notoriously difficult to buy for, so much so that it is a topic of conversation between me and just about every member of my immediate family in the weeks leading up to Christmas. What to get for Brian? We never have any idea. He already has his New Yorker subscription. He really doesn't need or want anything else. Really. So for the past few years I've been getting him artsy-type gifts. One year was a set of ceramic owls. One year was a Monet doll standing at an easel. This year I decided to make him a stupid sock creature (see previous post), and I think he liked it.

Then, once we all start to fall asleep on the floor surrounded by wrapping paper bits, we call it a night. Doug and I make our way back to Massachusetts the day after Christmas and get back to our regular routines. The holidays are essentially over. We tend not to do anything too thrilling for New Year's, mostly because we are tired from all the birthday and Christmas activities in December. This year is no exception. We got a bottle of champagne for Christmas so we decided to stay in and have some of it. Doug's making some meatballs, we'll cook up some cocktail weenies, we'll sit on our couch and reflect on the year that's ending and talk about things to look forward to in the new year, and, if we are lucky enough to be awake, will clink our (champagne) glasses at midnight. Sounds truly wonderful to me. I smell the meatballs cooking now. It just may be time to go out and pop that cork early!

Mostly good.

When I was thinking about what to post about today, I thought that I would list the good and the not-so-good things that have been happening lately. The only problem is that there have been mostly good things happening lately. Mostly. The post will be a little lop-sided.

Let's get the not-so-good out of the way so that we can focus on the good stuff, shall we?

It's not-so-good that I:

- am feeling anxious about work 70% of the time (has mostly to do with work politics, which I decidedly do not like)

- keep going over my texting limit on my phone plan

- keep forgetting to email people back... I am usually so good about emailing people back

- and seem to have regressed in the kitchen when it comes to baking, though this last kitchen disaster didn't have much to do with baking and was more of an equipment malfunction

Other than that, things are great. Really! Please observe:

- We got a visit from friends, and the cutest, littlest Santa was just adorable as usual.

- I have been sewing up a storm, branching out to include aprons

and more stupid sock creatures in my repertoire.

- I ran the Cambridge 5K Yulefest in a better time than I ever would have thought (placed 458 out of 813 finishers!). No walking for me. I ran the whole way and even passed people! I think it was the ungodly cold air that was propelling me - the thought of a hot cup of tea never left my mind.

- And then of course there was Doug's birthday. On the 16th we celebrated with a dinner out and some cupcakes from Sweet.

- Then, when Doug's fellow birthday-celebrator came on the 17th, we had some more cupcakes.

- Christmas celebrations are in full swing, as evidenced by my sister's family and my mother, father, and brother coming to celebrate with us. It was certainly a good day, and not just because of the wonderful array of desserts (the thumbprint cookies made post-Kitchen Aid mixer disaster, so mad props to me for picking it up, cleaning it off, putting it back together, and moving on as if it never happened). Smiles were had all around!

- Lastly, Doug, eager to try out his Christmas gift, cooked us a fine-tasting roast and carved it up for dinner last night.

Not too bad, right? Really pretty good. December has been a great month overall, and I'm looking forward to these last two weeks of it. This week brings more Christmas record-playing and Christmas gift wrapping, and another birthday celebration for Doug on Friday before we spend the holiday weekend with family. Then there's next week. Next week I have off from work and I am spending it holed up in the house wearing my new fleece pajamas and reading all the books I've been getting from the library (I should not be allowed to shelve - I do the one-for-the-shelf-one-for-me trick, which is not good for my to-read list). But don't even try to tell me that I can't finish White Teeth and read The Influencing Machine, The Lost Continent, Bossypants, Blankets, and New Moon in one week. I ran a 5K, after all. That says world domination right there.

The most wonderful time of the year.

I love this time of year. I really do. I think it's my favorite time of year (though summer, because of the sun, the warmth, and, most of all, the beach, is a very, very, very close second). From Thanksgiving until New Year's it's non-stop excitement and fun. And food!

This is a little of what I mean:

Thing 1: Thanksgiving

Doug and I hosted Thanksgiving this year, as you know. We'd happily do it again, too. What fun! I really liked picking out all of the recipes and gathering all the ingredients. And cooking it. I had a lot more fun cooking the dinner than I thought that I would. I was able to time everything well so that it was all ready at once, which was something that I was worried about. But it all came out great.

Doug was in charge of the turkey and he took great pride in his bird.

We upgraded to a 19-lb turkey because we thought we would not have enough with the 15-pounder, but 15-lbs would have been fine. As would have fewer brussels sprouts.

That's only 2/3rds of the brussels sprouts that we shredded to saute with shallots and a little white wine vinegar. The more brussels sprouts the better, though, because I have learned to love the little cabbages (and I never in a million years would have expected to say that).

So this Thanksgiving I was thankful for friends and family, no kitchen mishaps, and the chance to finally use all of the dinnerware that we got for our wedding (some of which had never been unwrapped!). I look forward to more Dedham Thanksgivings.

Thing 2: Our Nation's Capital

This year I was also thankful for our somewhat impromptu trip to Washington D.C. and Alexandria. Doug was recently in Alexandria and D.C. for work and I didn't get to go with him, so we decided to head down there for a few nights. True to form, we crammed a lot in to our short time there, like:

The new MLK Memorial, which leaves you speechless for a variety of reasons:

The National Gallery of Art, which had a nice, though small, collection of 20th century American art:

Arlington National Cemetery, at which we were able to see the JFK burial site, eternal flame, and the graves of Robert and Ted Kennedy. That was pretty moving (but I didn't take photos because it somehow felt wrong to photograph their resting place).

And historic Alexandria,VA, which is just absolutely bursting with history.

I'd be telling a lie if I said that Doug and I didn't think about moving there at least a few times during our trip, but I will happily report that this is the first time that Doug and I didn't frantically search real estate listings and job ads when we came back home. We really liked it there and could see ourselves living there, but that obsessive-compulsive need to leave our home and all of our troubles behind was distinctly lacking this trip. That was a vacation in and of itself.

Thing 3: Christmas

We came back from D.C. and suddenly Christmas was upon us. The neighbors had begun to put lights up around their houses, Christmas music had taken over the radio, and the tree was lit in Dedham Square.

This, of course, meant that it was high time that we put up our own tree, so this past Friday night we got the tree and decorations down from the attic and decorated.

The white tree has grown on me. I like how it looks. I do miss the Christmas tree smell in the house, though, and we are out of balsam fir candles. This coupled with the fact that Sherman thought that the tree was a giant chew toy when we first put it up might make us consider throwing a real tree into the Christmas tree mix some years. But for now this is what we have, and I have been dying to turn down the room lights, put on the tree, and sit and read. That's my idea of a good and relaxing holiday evening!

Thanksgiving at our house.

I used to have a three-things rule - get three things done during my day, or, in the case of my blog, cover three things in each post. I haven't really been keeping to my three-things rule. I generally like rules that I make for myself, though you'd think I'd be better at following them than I am at following those rules imposed on me by others. Doesn't seem to be the case. But I can make efforts to change that - starting now!

Thing One: 5K!

Brace yourself for this news - I am running a 5K! I am quite excited to be running in the Cambridge 5K Yulefest, as this will be my first 5K, and it gives me a reason to push my efforts at jogging, getting past my 18-minute-and-then-collapse routine into something a bit longer. The race is December 18 at 10am. If you come to watch it, I'll be the runner at the back of the pack with no costume other than my stretchy running pants, t-shirt, and my earband and gloves. My goal is to finish the race and to not stop to walk. I've been doing well at training for it so far - I have been doing 9-minute miles (approximately) both on the treadmill and outside, and I have successfully, several times, run for 30-minutes straight, also both on the treadmill and outside. If I can keep this up I should be able to meet my goal on the 18th.

Thing Two: Sherman

I haven't written about Sherman in a while (mostly because I haven't written about anything in a while) so here's my latest Sherman update. Sherman's October biopsy showed that he has some kind of allergy. Naturally, the vets do not know what is causing his allergy. We have him on special food (which he does not like and I do not like because it is sticky and smells), we are giving him prednisone, and we are supposed to be continuing with the Advantage treatments, even though he doesn't have fleas and doesn't seem to have mites. He has also tested negative for ringworm. So. Where does that leave us? It leaves us with a cat who is scratching at his head much, much less, but still scratching. It also leaves Doug having to force-feed Sherman his prednisone pill each day, which Doug does by straddling the poor thing.

I really think that it's the prednisone that is helping the cat feel better, because as we decrease the dosage he is getting itchier and itchier. This means that when I call the vet to tell her Sherman's progress I am going to request that Sherman continue with a higher dose of prednisone. Is it okay to keep your cat on these steroids for eternity? Because that's how long Sherman is going to need to be on them. Because no one can figure out what is making him itchy. And I really don't want the cat in the cone for the rest of his life. It looks like Sherman and prednisone are going to become the best of friends, and Doug is going to become expert at forcing pills down cat throats (which, believe me, is a real skill).

Thing Three: Thanksgiving at our house!

Doug and I are hosting Thanksgiving this year. We are giving my sister and brother-in-law a break from hosting the whole extended family at their house for this most wonderful holiday and having the smaller immediate family to our house for Thanksgiving - for the very first time. I'm more excited about this than nervous, though I do think I am nervous about people liking the food. Mike, my brother-in-law, is a great cook. Like, really, really good. He mixes traditional items with non-traditional items, traditional flavors with non-traditional flavors, and the result is always outstanding. I like to try new recipes and I like to cook and bake, but that doesn't mean that things always come out so good (you've seen plenty of evidence of that). But, fingers crossed that the cooking gods will be smiling down on me tonight and tomorrow as Doug and I prepare for Foodfest 2011. Here a peak at our menu:

Herb turkey (a 15-pound bird)
Herb gravy
Herb biscuits
Sautéed brussels sprouts
Honey-orange glazed carrots
Buttermilk mashed potatoes
Wild rice with mushrooms and dried cranberries
Chewy molasses cookies

All of this will be homemade by me and Doug (Doug's got turkey duty). Scared yet? I am. My sister and brother-in-law are bringing a pumpkin soup and cranberry sauce, as well as a dessert, and my mother is bringing her homemade breads and pies. I don't think we'll starve! At least not all of us. Those of us who have already poo-pooed the brussels sprouts and wild rice (ma soeur! dear nieces and nephew!) may, but that just means all the more for the others.

So. If I live to tell about Thanksgiving I'll have to do so here. Expect photos.

Happy trails.

There must be a quote by some kind of sagely person floating around out there in the sea of collective wisdom that says something to the effect of "Life is better when traveling." If there is not, then I will be the person to declare that life is better when traveling. And by traveling I don't mean getting on a plane and flying across time-zones, or even staying in hotels. I just mean leaving your cats and your chores and your life behind for a little fun away from home.

Doug and I have had a bit of that lately. We spent the weekend of the October nor'easter in Provincetown and it was wonderful. Granted I was just coming down hard with a bad headcold, and we only had about five hours of dry conditions before the winds and rain kicked in, but we enjoyed each and every minute of being near the water.

We had such fun daydreaming about buying a small condo on the far east or west end of town and spending weekends near the water. I pictured myself sitting in a light and airy room with my sewing machine, sewing whatever new creation was inspiring me that day. Artists abound in P-town (even those that compose their art right on the beach), and Doug and I like the creativity in the air there (not to mention the fresh, ocean air).

I came home to a week of feeling like poo, which is what bad colds usually do to people, and unfortunately no amount of Halloween candy could make me feel better (believe me, I gave it my all). But the bright light at the end of the tunnel that week was a trip to New York City to see Doug's band play at Arlene's Grocery. Initially I was not that thrilled about seeing him play and then having to make the drive up to his parents' place in Monroe (I'm notorious for going to bed early), but I'm glad I stayed awake for it and paid my $10 in support of his cause.

Hot Molasses played well, considering that both Doug and Julia were sick. They looked good on stage, and, even though this wasn't their best show, they had energy and sounded so much better than the band that played before them.

Doug is funny about these shows. He acts like they are no big deal, but the need to debrief is always very strong. I'd like more Doug in the songs; more Doug-driven songs. A song about Puritans could be a great addition to the set list.

What was potentially more exciting (for me, at least) was walking around SoHo. This was my first trip there, believe it or not. I've been to NYC before but never to the Lower East Side, and I think I'll be going back. I made it to Purl SoHo and The Strand! That may have been worth the lack of sleep for me. I now have two and a half more yards of fabric to craft into something very useful

and have a souvenir from one of the most overwhelming (in a good way) bookstores I have ever been in.

How much are rents in SoHo? Could we afford to live there? I could get very used to walking the twenty or so blocks up Broadway between Purl SoHo and The Strand, though I may not have any money left for rent (or any room in my minuscule apartment for all the fabric, yarn and books I'd buy).

Keep traveling. That's what I say. Those are the words I will live by.